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Paddler of the Week

Shelly

The Featured Paddler of the Week is Shelly Mortimer

 

Age:  36

Sign: Scorpio

Occupation:  Quality Assurance Representative, Zatrikon Chemical Weapons

Favorite Song: "La Vida Loca" 

Favorite Movie:  It's a Wonderful Life

Hobbies: cycling, motorcycling, skiing, head shrinking

Personal Hero Figures:  Sean Connery, Silken Laumann, Captain Picard

Favorite quote: "Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most."

 

 

 

We had ethical issues with Shelly's work at first. And we especially didn't like it when she brought chemical samples to paddling practice in the back of her minivan.

"No, don't worry.  We only call these things "bombs" because they're pressurized and can sometimes fizz if you don't vent them before opening.  They're perfectly safe."

But her line of work pays well, and her company has produced some fine biocides for farmers and pest controllers.

Shelly herself is a righteously-fun person.  She dances in parking lots  (see photo on the right), sings on the bus, squeals at firemen, and paddles with outrageous screams! 

Rob once asked her why she likes to scream during dragon boat races:

"Why do I like to scream?  I dunno... it just makes me feel better deep down inside.  You know, the way people like to scream at horror movies and on roller coasters."

Shelly's screaming has now become a fixed part of our River Rats club!  She signals the team when it's two minutes into the race with her ear-splitting howl!

(The firemen really dig her, too... they say she can outsqueal their siren on their chase boat!)

You're the best, Shelly!!  It's good to have you paddling with us!

See previous Paddlers of the Week...

 

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