Rats place in Kelowna Top 10
PLACE IN KELOWNA TOP 10
two tough 500m heats, our EDBRC River Rats placed 6th out of 98
teams at Kelowna.
1 started weak for the Rats, allowing the strong Epic Express from
Vancouver to surge ahead at the start. The
Rats paddled furiously, neck-and-neck with the remaining TCC and TD
Lightning teams until the halfway mark, where the Rats surged ahead to
take a decisive 2:22 second place, a length ahead of the third and fourth
teams. It wasn’t first
place, but it was satisfying to quash the loud-mouthed TCC team, and to
qualify in the top 10!
2 was a bigger battle. Lining
up against the Steam Team from BC Rail, Team Masala, the Tsunami and the
Electric Dragons, the Rats bolted right from the first stroke, but so did
the other four teams. It was
a dramatic race, neck-and-neck for all five teams until the last 100 m,
where the Rats lost timing, and allowed the strong Tsunami and Electric
Dragons to gain a quarter-boat length on us.
final Heat 2 results had the top 3 finishing within 1 second of each
other, Rats finishing with a 2:29:84 behind the Electric’s 2:28:98 and
the Tsunami’s 2:28:75.
The rest of Sunday was a shore-bound disappointment for the Rats (see Bogus Weather article below). The top medal honours were eventually taken by the CIBC Imperial Dragons.
WEATHER BUMPS BOATS
approximately 2pm on Sunday, the Okanagan Lake spirited a sudden southwest
wind, blowing furiously to cause 14 inch waves and whitecaps within a 10
minute span. This blew the
staging boats all over the bay, forcing the race marshalls to cancel Race
55. It was during this dry galestorm that Rob was injured at the
Lasting for over 70 minutes, the grievous wind shut the entire festival down, grounding the Rats and their race 56 competitors on the beach.
MAKES CONTROVERSIAL DECISION, PADDLERS BOYCOTT IN RESPONSE
the big wind began to settle, and a small window of calm water appeared,
the Race Director decided to shuffle the race shedule.
Hoping to finish the medal-awarded races before the wind returned,
the Race Director initially chose to bump the Rats race #56 back, and then
later chose to cancel race 56 altogether.
shore-bound Rats, Epic Express, CVA, Predator Blades, and Draco Sports
Club, waiting for three hours on the beach, were indignant at this call,
and protests flew.
Epic Express suggested some novel ideas to settle the deferred race,
including arm wrestling and tug o war and a dance competition.
Then they took a look at Dennis, and decided that would not be a
waiting over 3 hours to race, the Epic Express, CVA, Predator Blades, and
Draco , many of whom had to catch flights back to Vancouver and Calgary,
chose to leave without competing, effectively boycotting the final race.
default, this left the remaining River Rats in 6th place
overall, but the victory was tasteless.
After 4 hours of waiting on the beach, wearing lifejackets and
watching other boats race through the wind, the Rats finally chose to
leave the site at 5pm.
TAKE HITS, HOSPITAL TAKES RATS
was also a tough day for the Rats injuries, looking more like a CFL third
quarter than a dragon boat race
Mr. Rob Borreli, our Marketing Representative, took a blow to his back. Heroically diving into the water to prevent a wind-blown boat from slamming into the docks, Rob got trapped between the 4200lb loaded boat and the wooden dock. The heavy mass compressed Rob’s back and bent leg. Managing to walk it off at first, Rob collapsed into a painful ball on the beach. Amidst hundreds of onlookers, an Oregon doctor and St. John’s ambulance inspected Rob, and eventually gurneyed him to the local emergency room for X-Rays. As of this writing, Rob’s injuries do not require him to remain as an inpatient in Kelowna.
other damaged paddler, Michelle M., took some serious torsion to her
shoulder joint, and was unable to paddle a third heat on Sunday.
She remained with Rob at the Kelowna emergency room. Gratefully, her injuries are also minor enough to keep her
from the hospital bed.
cheers for Rob and Michelle, who have displayed the mettle and spirit that
River Rats are becoming known for!
SCARES PANTS OFF THE ENEMY, GARNERS REQUESTS AND CAMERA TIME FROM CROWD
were lots of good things about the Kelowna festival, too.
The crowd loved the Rats Maori Haka, and each time the Rats yelled
and jumped, the onlookers cheered.
one point, the Rats haka literally scared the pants off the Electric
Dragons, who pulled down their shorts as an attempted response to our team
HUR” COMBAT RACE FOR BREAST FRIENDS
Breast Friends of Edmonton, sporting three of our paddlers, Cathy Lea,
Mary Coutts and Elaine Wannechko, paddled
in some full-contact races! In
two separate heats, the BF were rammed by boats on both sides, forcing
re-starts for both heats.
MAGIC FORGETS TO REMOVE KEG FROM THEIR RACE BOAT
friends and adopted family, the Calgary Magic Dragons, had a tough Sunday.
After a strong Saturday, the Magic Orange were outpulled in race
SHARON AND BITCHIN BRUCE DEFECT TO BACCARAT STROKERS, THEN TO BECOME MAGIC
of Sunday injuries, the River Rats had to turn to the Calgary Orangemen
Rushing to aid the Rats, Sharon “Smelly Rat” Hodgkinson and “Bitchin Bruce” Wright volunteered to fill the empty Rats benches. As the Rats initiated the two Calgarians into their ranks, the two new Magic Rats also learned about the secret “Chien rouge” and “14-7-5” start sequences employed by the powerful Rats crew. Causing distress amongst the tightly-knit Rats members, the talk is to now change the secret Rats methods to a “Pink Daschund” and “12-7-210” paddling sequences.
SPOON RAT CAUGHT SNUGGLING WITH SLUTTY RAT
night after he heard stories of Ogo Pogo as a fertility god for young men,
Snoring Spoon Rat Tom was caught straddling Slutty Rat Jeff in bed later
would have been a secret interlude if not for Tom’s loud snoring, which
awoke both the Rats in the next bed, and the neighbours next door, who
rushed in with video camera in hand.
in a fit of embarassment, Slutty Rat and Spooning Rat cowered into the
bathroom, amidst squeals of delight from the cameraman and his wife.
are now available for $19.95
SIGHTED AT SIESTA MOTEL IN KELOWNA
same night, there were claims that a werewolf Rat was sighted in the pool
at the Kelowna Siesta Motel.
more squeals and screams, five motel patrons dictated their statements to
MAGIC MIKE DISCOVERS THAT HE IS AS SEXY AS HE WILL EVER GET
a drier note, the Kelowna festival was a revelation for at least one
(not his real name) discovers, much to his chagrin, that he is never going
to be any more sexy than he already is.
the bus for their thoughts on his sexiness, Mike received all kinds of
Mike, but if you want to score with women, you’ll have to resort to
MAGIC BUS SHOWS AS TORTOISE-MOBILE FOR ALBERTA
bus ride was a grievous experience for both the Rats and their companion
Magic Dragons. 14 hours there, and 12 hours back.
our safety-conscious and non-speedy driver, showed up on Friday morning
with a museum artifact called an MCI diesel bus.
along below the speed limit the entire way, Alan took our two DB teams on
a convoluted tour of the City of Calgary, the Okanagan Valley. The City of
Kelowna, and the South Side of Edmonton.
through heavy drinking, cat calls from Jeff and Andrew and Robyn
and Katrina, videotapes, and Tamara’s bus flirting, was the long
trip made bearable for the 42 paddlers.
did we just drive around through that residential neighborhood?”
we passed a truck!”
anyone seen my martini glass?”
|See: Sep. 4 Newsletter|
|See: Habib: Paddler of the Week|